I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
