Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Randomize
