he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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