I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
