So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
