chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
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