puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
