did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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