omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize
