He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
