I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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