just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I cut my penus on the lid.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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