Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
