I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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