I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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