I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
