with your own penis?
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize