He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize