Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
my sisters under your porch take her home
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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