Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
