Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
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