just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
