some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
