U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
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He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
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