yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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