i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Farmville is her only friend.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
