Can Purell be used as lube?
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
