I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
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