haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
