hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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