Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize
