the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
