Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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