I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
