toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
We got so high we made milksteak
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
