I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
