I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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