THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
