He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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