But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.