this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
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