am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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