Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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