I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I need to sanitize my soul.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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