I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
We have so much sex to catch up on
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Randomize
