I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
