Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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