He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
3pm strippers are depressing
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
