At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
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I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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