On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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