i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
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