How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
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