Your mouth is God's brothel.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
