Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
