I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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