they said they heard you say put it in my butt
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
