I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
ok first of all what the fuck
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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