Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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