Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize
