her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
We are all done wearing pants today
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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