jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Randomize